The Case for Public Family Restrooms

The following conversation took place in a VERY busy public restroom when Little Man was about 3-years-old...I was speaking softly, he was not.  Four years later, I am able to see the humor...at the time - notsomuch...but here it is - astory that I hope the Lord  allows me to remember for eternity...enjoy...

Mama: OK, Will – turn around and face the door while mama goes peepee.

Will: So I don’t see your penis?

Mama: Shhhh…mamas don’t have penises, remember?

Will: What’s it called?

Mama: Vagina, but we don’t talk about things like this in public.  Let’s be super quiet now!!

Will:  Why do you sit down to peepee?  Because  your penis doesn’t reach?

Mama: Sweetie … shhhhhh!!!!  Mamas don’t have penises.  Hey!  Let’s see who can be quiet the longest…GO!!

Will: Does daddy know you don’t have a penis?

Mama:  You lose.  Yes, he knows.

Will: When I grow up will my penis fall off?

Mama:  NO!  Seriously…let’s be really quiet!!

Will: Are you pooping?

Mama:  No.  I’m going peepee.

Will: Why are you sitting down?

Mama: Shhhhh…

Will: But why are you?

Mama: Because ladies sit down to go peepee.

Wiping, standing, flushing…

Will: THAT – IS – POOPOO!!!!

Mama: No, honey, that’s not poopoo.

Will:  It looks like poopoo.

Mama: It isn’t.

Will:  What is it?

Mama: Well, sometimes when mamas don’t have a baby in their belly, then they have a little…

Will:  Poopoo?

Mama: NO…blood…shhhhhhh – we need to be quiet like at the library.

Will: Then why are people laughing?

Mama: Because this conversation isn’t happening to them!!

Will: So your bottom bloods?

Mama:  “Bleeds” … but it isn’t my bottom.

Will: Is it your jalina?

Mama: Yes … shhhhhh, please!

Will: Are you going to blood to death?

Mama:  I hope so!!  I really do...