Homework with a First Grader

I am a very patient person.  Well, I'm a patient person.  OK...fine...but I AM a person!  I love my son and I understand a 6-year-old's mind can only focus on something for so long.  After all, they aren't sophisticated like - hey, have you ever wondered if the hokey pokey really is what it's all about? Wouldn't that be something!  Where was I? Oh, right...well, so the following conversation took place at the kitchen table while I was helping Will with his homework tonight.

Subject: Spelling -

Mama: Come on, Will, your homework assignment is to "say-spell-say" your spelling words.  First word: clay.

Will: Clay - c l a y - clay.

Mama: Good job!! Next word: spray.

Will: Spray - s p r a y - spray.

Mama: Very good! Did you work on these today?

Will: No, I'm just smart.

Mama: Apparently...next word: gray.

(Does anyone else see a pattern here? OK, so we go through about a dozen "ay" words and two sight words "to" and "you" and start on the written part of the homework in the spelling book.)

Mama: OK, you need to fill in a word from your spelling list that begins with "pl".

Will: (writing) Plot - p l o t - plot.

Mama: (erasing) No, it needs to be from your spelling list, so it will end in the "ay" sound...try again.

Will: (writing) Play - p l a y - play.

Mama: Fine...now fill in a word from your spelling list that begins with "st".

Will: (writing) Stop - s t

Mama: (erasing - slightly more aggressively now) Nooo...it needs to be from your spelling list - remember, all the words in your spelling list end in the "ay" sound.

Will: Well, the sight words don't.  "To" and "you" don't end in "ay".

Mama:  Right...but the other ones do.

Will: Then you should say "most".

Mama:  While I see your point, I think we should just focus on your spelling words.  Next one, fill in a word from your spelling list that begins with "spr" - this one should be easy!!

Will: (writing) Sprout - s p r o

Mama: (erasing and slightly shrieky now) WILL --- are you kidding me? We just went through how MOST of the words end with the "ay" sound, didn't we?

Will: Yes, but not ALL of them.

Mama: RIGHT - but NONE of them end in "out"!!  Start again, please...

Will: (writing) Sproo - s p

I don't know where he gets it.  He's grounded from playing games on the computer...he's funny and also awfully cute, but he's grounded anyway.

The Case for Public Family Restrooms

The following conversation took place in a VERY busy public restroom when Little Man was about 3-years-old...I was speaking softly, he was not.  Four years later, I am able to see the humor...at the time - notsomuch...but here it is - astory that I hope the Lord  allows me to remember for eternity...enjoy...

Mama: OK, Will – turn around and face the door while mama goes peepee.

Will: So I don’t see your penis?

Mama: Shhhh…mamas don’t have penises, remember?

Will: What’s it called?

Mama: Vagina, but we don’t talk about things like this in public.  Let’s be super quiet now!!

Will:  Why do you sit down to peepee?  Because  your penis doesn’t reach?

Mama: Sweetie … shhhhhh!!!!  Mamas don’t have penises.  Hey!  Let’s see who can be quiet the longest…GO!!

Will: Does daddy know you don’t have a penis?

Mama:  You lose.  Yes, he knows.

Will: When I grow up will my penis fall off?

Mama:  NO!  Seriously…let’s be really quiet!!

Will: Are you pooping?

Mama:  No.  I’m going peepee.

Will: Why are you sitting down?

Mama: Shhhhh…

Will: But why are you?

Mama: Because ladies sit down to go peepee.

Wiping, standing, flushing…

Will: THAT – IS – POOPOO!!!!

Mama: No, honey, that’s not poopoo.

Will:  It looks like poopoo.

Mama: It isn’t.

Will:  What is it?

Mama: Well, sometimes when mamas don’t have a baby in their belly, then they have a little…

Will:  Poopoo?

Mama: NO…blood…shhhhhhh – we need to be quiet like at the library.

Will: Then why are people laughing?

Mama: Because this conversation isn’t happening to them!!

Will: So your bottom bloods?

Mama:  “Bleeds” … but it isn’t my bottom.

Will: Is it your jalina?

Mama: Yes … shhhhhh, please!

Will: Are you going to blood to death?

Mama:  I hope so!!  I really do...

A Conversation which compelled me to finally learn to blog....

I found a Certificate in my 7YO son's backpack labelled "King for A Day" - it had been nearly obliterated with purple crayon, but I could tell it HAD been something very special, dare I say prestigious?  I dared.  Anyhoo...it is little conversations like the following which cause me to BLOG. 

Mama: Will– what is this?

Will: That’s my King of the Day award.

Mama: Why were you King of the Day?

Will: What?

Mama: Why were you King of the Day?

Will: I don’t know.

Mama: WHEN were you King of the Day?

Will: I think Saturday.

Mama: No…it would have been a school day.

Will: Was Saturday a school day?

Mama: No … Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday are all school days.  Was it last week or this week?

Will: What’s a week?

Mama: WILL! When did you get this paper from Ms. Hale?

Will: I don’t know.

Mama: sigh…well, what did you do to earn it?

Will: I don’t know.

Mama: Why did you scribble scrabble on it?

Will: I don’t know.  I just started and couldn’t stop.

Mama: Why did you start?

Will: I didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to stop.

Mama: But why would you…never mind…(looking closer underneath the crayon scribble scrabble).  Hey, Will…do you know what this says? Why you got this King of the Day award?

Will: Why?

Mama: For SELF CONTROL!!!!